Unleashing What's Inside

My situation has deteriorated, my inner core has becoming more and more unstable, with no pillar for support, its breaking down fast. I've begun to despise people around me, seeing them makes me feel disgust of some sort, i just wish they vanish, or i just wish i would vanish, either way solves the problem. Hate is such a powerful thing. Its strength is equivalent to that of the so called love, and yet, it grows stronger since u cant actually break it can you? But love, love is like the seed of hate, if u manage to break love, hate is born from it. Beautiful isn't it? Like love, hate is also a a good motivator, because of such hatred, you would do anything for that hatred.

No longer do i remember the time where i last truly enjoyed my life, when was it? Each day i tread this ball of dirt just to reach to the next day again and again. It's sickening, and all along there seems to be nothing to look forward to in the next day. Why hope? Hope that something fun and happy would come along? Hoping that what you hope for will come true? Why bother to hope when most of the time you would just be disappointed. Wake up go class, do assignment, study for test and get the grades that you deserve, why bother whining over low grades, u get what you put into it!

Human will never return to the purity of mind when they were a child, their despicable disgusting creatures that roam this ball of dirt, scraping their way to gain more and more possessions which continues to blind them of what they have become. When was the last time you have a good nice sleep, the kind of sleep you see in babies, puppies and so on, they go on to rest without worrying bout the next day, probably to oblivious to the world around them. But their not to be blamed. Yet, what do YOU think of when you go to bed, probably missing your close ones or worrying bout the upcoming test or what time to wake up for class, need to do assignment the next day. All that i really want is just to be able to sleep like that again, to doze off without a worry in mind. That would not be possible i guess. Even now I'm cursing for the pile of assignments to complete, papers to read, reports to type, projects to complete, tests to study, classes to attend, and not being able to be home while im stuck in this sickening place.

Sometimes i truly wonder is this worth it.

What's the thing that makes you want to wake up in the morning to start another day? Don't give me the alarm clock , sun crap. The thing that makes me wanna wake up and start another forsaken day would be my family, mostly my mom and my grandma, cause i wanna make them happy by seeing their child being able to achieve success. . . in a way, aside from that i duno what do i wake up for.

*<-Fill The Void Within Me->*