Chaos Plane

Holi holi holiday....is over :(

2008-09-26T18:46:00.003+08:00

Here i am typing again.

well i have nothing intelligent to type, so guess ill just write on my holidays.

firstly, i did alot of baking this holiday.
out of the 7 days that i have been in penang i baked on 4 of them.

3 batch of bread and 1 butter cake.

duno why the craze but its better then just lying around to rot at home.
oso ive grown addicted to the song: Kimi wa Tomodachi by Ken Hirai

The song has beautiful lyrics on friendship and also it is performed using A Cappella.
uberness.

soo anyway. getting back to wat the holidays is about.

To most of us i means getting back and spending the long overdued time with family.
to some it would be the time to spend on projects and extra classes
to some it would also be spend for mugging on the coming CA next week.

well may all of you have the time you need :)

.... seriously though i forgotten how to blog...
wat to write ... sighh.
im feeling sorry for the readers now since they would be reading my mumbling junks.

oh ya ! some thing to look forward(maybe not) to during the coming week !!
its that vegetarian time of year again =.=|||

ahahhaha.... urghh.
its gonna be hard to follow since well, skool food dont have the proper vegetarian
food that i need. guess ill just have to change my diet. gonna be stocking up on food
when i get back on sunday. need alot of fruits and milk if i am ever gonna get through this :S

wish me luck i guess.

Olympic Games 2008 !!!

2008-08-06T16:59:00.002+08:00

In response to the upcoming olympic games, heres a beutiful song from da previous olympic game,
olympic game 1996 to be exact =) Enjoy

Deep within each heart
There lies a magic spark
That lights the fire of our imagination
And since the dawn of man
The strenght of just "I can"
Has brought together people of all nations

There’s nothing ordinary
In the living of each day
There’s a special part
Every one of us will play

Feel the flame forever burn
Teaching lessons we must learn
To bring us closer to the power of the dream
As the world gives us its best
To stand apart from all the rest
It is the power of the dream that brings us here

Your mind will take you far
The rest is just pure heart
You’ll find your fate is all your own creation
Every boy and girl
As they come into this world
They bring the gift of hope and inspiration

Feel the flame forever burn
Teaching lessons we must learn
To bring us closer to the power of the dream
The world unites in hope and peace
We pray that it will always be
It is the power of the dream that brings us here

There’s so much strength in all of us
Every woman child and man
It’s the moment that you think you can’t
You’ll discover that you can

Feel the flame forever burn
Teaching lessons we must learn
To bring us closer to the power of the dream
The world unites in hope and peace
We pray that it will always be
It is the power of the dream that brings us here

Feel the flame forever burn
Teaching lessons we must learn
To bring us closer to the power of the dream
The world unites in hope and peace
We pray that it will always be
It is the power of the dream that brings us

The power of the dream
The faith in things unseen
The courage to embrace your fear
No matter where you are
To reach for your own star
To realize the power of the dream
To realize the power of the dream

Who ???

2008-07-26T18:56:00.003+08:00

Da big dillema !

WHO AM I
most ppl are either dumb founded by it or feign ingnorance (atleast the ppl around my age lah)

have u discovered who u are? well i havent
i notice that among different ppl, i act differently. most obvious when i compare when im in pg and when im in sg .

so who the hell am i ? so many diff personalities but which is da centre? hmm
hard question no ?

also how emotions can quickly change ppl especially LOVE.
love dumfounds everyone typically. (Its still an unknown chemical reaction being figured out by several scientists)
so lets leave it to them and address da issue in this blog yes?

who are you ?
are you wat u think u are?
but always remember who you think you are is not what others think you are.
so how do you define yourself, is it from the perception of others? or is it from how you percieve yourself?
or isit both ? though if you consider both, then you would not have a solid fact as both mite contradict.

okay.. im confusing myself. mustt ........avoid....confusionn.. and lostt... of ..identity.y........

yea so think bout it. maybe we should figure out who we are before we start figuring others out ya?

kudos. and Welcome to post 69. in the honour of this post lets put a picture of 69 here. Heres an enlightening picture of wat the hell is 69 for you innocent ppl out there. seriously ur innocence is just ignorance and not purity k !

OMGWTFBBQ???

2008-07-15T22:53:00.004+08:00

OMGWTFBBQ aka Oh My God/Gosh, Wat The Fuck BarBeQue
wat a nice phrase to describe surprise yes?

Well maybe the following picture will giv u dat expression:
or ... maybe not
..............
.
.
.
.
.
.

Blonds have more fun yes?? LOL

so anyway
Tengen Toppa Gurren Laggan
is a nice anime to watch, short, oni 27 eps. but damm nice ! UBER EPICNESS !!
ull knoe wat i mean if u watch ^^

Outz

blond has more fun no ??

neo armstrong cyclone jet armstrong cannon!!!

2008-07-11T16:13:00.006+08:00

Well some of those who have been reading my nick in gtalk been asking:

what is "neo armstrong cyclone jet armstrong cannon?"

well most of u would think neo armstrong......neil armstrong? da astronaut?
well at least da cannon part is accurate, its a cannon. but i dun think it has any relation with him
well not totally unrelated....... ull see wat i mean. unless he is not a he

So WHAT IS NEIL ARMSTRONG CYCLONE JET ARMSTRONG CANNON ?? !!

okay okay like i said its a cannon and a pwerful one at tat here is a snow replica of neo armstrong cyclone jet armstrong cannon!!!
see see its a cannon !! and according to history its been used in wars etc etc

wat ? too small and too blur ? kk heres another bigger pic of
neo armstrong cyclone jet armstrong cannon!!!
Shiny !!! LOL
there u have it, that is the NEIL ARMSTRONG CYCLONE JET ARMSTRONG CANNON !!!
Dont U DARE FORGET !!! MUHWAhhaha XD

DIE STUPID STREAMYX !!!

2008-07-09T19:43:00.003+08:00

I HATE THIS STUPID CONECTION:STREAMYX

well not tat i hoping it to die. if it dies ill be reall really bored.. close to a zombie on a bed.
soo lets see... wat do we have here......
blablabla leg(stupid syen & leo) blablablba laptop room..boring... blablablba suyin blabla love from anoher POV...... you guys reallly dun give me much choice huh

well i guess its oni Love from another POV......btw POV = point of view for those who duno and too shy to ask because ur scared to look stupid.

okay.. since my shows are loading (EXTREMELY SLOWLY) guess i could crap abit bout tat

Lets see love from another pov...
but from wat pov? God? doG?
I knoe ! GOLDFISH !!!

soo blluubb bluuub bloob, bllub bluoop
bllooop bllup bllllooooop BlllooooPP

....................
okay tat aint working
i have no idea how goldfish ticks. so lets get to the apes(human) again.

well xander ur partly correct bout tat i dun have anything else to say on tat matter
love tat is.
but then i realise i was talking all along bout pre relations instead of ongoing relations

Oooh Oooh too make this abiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit more intresting lets see which is worst, or atleast think its worst.
1. getting rejected after confession
2. breaking up(mutual) after a relationship (NOT SEX) ~well if u din enjoyed da sex u should breakup, jk jk, just get a karma sutra.
3. getting dumped
4. caught ur partner cheating on u
5. I duno, im single and im too lazy to guess.

well let da polls roll ~~~~
roll roll roll da polls gently down da ... pole?

ahem..
the poles are on ur right
if u duno which is right or left folllow da arrow below
>>>>>>>----------------------------->
if u dunno wat is an arrow, go bang ur head on the wall closest to you.

koff koff
so anyway back to the topic.
so hows love during a relationship
..............................................................................
...................
........................................................
well this vary like hell really @@
okay fine theres oni one Hell so it cant very tat much.
so this vary like the types on bacteria on ur feet.

u can spot those lovey dovey i love u forever kinda couples that goes extremely strong
at the start but most of the time the love dies out fast, probably get bored of each other O_O (not cursing anyone here so dun perah santan)

or those that are too shy to admit at all till a certain period of time have passed then oni come out of the closet . .. well coming out of the closest normaly used for ppl to admit their gay les transexual the works, but this works too :D

and also those who are like to close frens which get ever closer and closer till their hands connect, then their lips and then their..... woah look at da time, better continue.

well my point is that, there a varieties of relationships and u shunt (there such a word?) base ur on wat u see on others. and more importantly keep a free mind~NVR imagine wat a relationship should be like. Such as by so and so we should hold hands and be kissing, we should be able to talk freely bout our sex life, we would be cuddling day and nite blablabla. keep it free man =.= or woman, and dont be the type that gives gives gives and dont take .

okay da last statement would be WTFBBQ ???!!! for sum
wat i meant was, some ppl in a relationship keeps giving until they forget to take in wat the other trying to give/tell back. example buy presents, give kisses (the smooch or da chocolate, ur choice) take out eat etc. but maybe all they(the other) wants is for u too understand and listen. such as how their day has been, bitchy boss, sucky lecturer etc. wat their thinking blablabla.and then respond to tat ( dun ask me how @.@ it seems if u give a nonchalant reply, get ready for a looooooooooong one) u could lie tat u care when u really dont too. better then telling it out rite. then tat would just trigger emoness bomb to erupt. emo emo emo

well seriously i dun have much idea in a serious relationship, nvr been into one. so i would prefer to stop there. rather not write more trash later kena blame by ppl then matis.

until next time i guess...
think i should write bout ppl around love birds huh? those tat wants to shoot the birds down and those that wants to feed them.

sayur mana !

Boredom hits in twos

2008-07-07T21:38:00.002+08:00

Yooo.... here i am again....... bored.
the diffrent thing today is...
im bored and i duno wat to crap about.
so i need a little help. put up topics tat u would like to hear my crap about and
ill choose one of them (persuming there is more then one) and well
crap about it.

readers do drop a topic or two, presumable things events wateva except ppl. ppl for example giving me names such as suyin , leo, kai lin etc. cant crap bout ppl. cuz well their ppl =.=|||

off i go to dwell in boredom toodles,

PS: dropping da topics would oso let me knoe who reads this blog ^^V

Fiss...

2008-07-05T20:47:00.006+08:00

Fissss.......
so my baby cousins, aka fish .
Went to a fish spa ! family outing.

no its not a spa that u bring fishes to have them unwind, u go there and well get serviced by fish.
now dont get any funny iideas from tat statement, by service mean they clean u up, well
in this case , just ur leg/feet.

it cost RM18 for half and hour, mum's treat.
sorry but the oni pics i have from there are my feet, so yea, ur gonna be seeing pictures of my feet, deal with it :P

Here comes da SWARM ! da above pic is just when i dunk my leg into da pool....spa.
then they seem to love my leg and their number increased:
from wat i learn, the fishes mostly eat/feed on ur legs and well dun really like/attracted to other parts of ur body, so this spas normally let u place ur feet in since its redundant to immerse ur whole self. there are others that let u dunk ur whole bod in though, but at least none found in pg so far.

At this point my aunt was complaining that im stealing all the fishes away from her, she had little fish. though i was thinking ur legs are too clean d and mine is full of dead skin >_> yea the fishes are feeding off the dead skin from ur legs, especially the feet.

Intresting experience, ticklish but also relaxing. gotta try if ya nvr tried. little fish mouth massaging and cleaning ur leg, cool !

if any of u going near about commenting on da leg hair , don't cuz my reply would just be :
...
and ill ignore ur existance for 5 minutes !!! hurr hurr

ahh full....

2008-07-03T13:42:00.002+08:00

Now that my fuel tank is loaded up , lets see where was i
ahh yes, the issue bout love,

lets continue, lets look at certain animals
(those that wanna argue humans and animals are two totally seperate categories ... as far as im concern, your (we) are just monkeys in my eyes.)
ps:dun start the creation mambo here either =.=

looking at animals, we could see that animals who stick which each other (e.g humans) tend to take care of their young. while others dat breed and byebye such as turtles/uukuai/(no kai lin not included in this category) dun stick with each other.

therefore there should be an inbuilt instinct in these animals tat tells them to STAY like monkeys, sum birds etc. which would be the evolutionary source of LOVE? intresting yesh ?
those who dont, I HATE JOO !!!
jk jk

anyhoo imagine if we have da instinct of a turtle(again not lin~dun lah bully him) we would rush to da nearest female on heat, plant our seeds and go byebye. but this wont bode well since oni 1 baby not hundreds, so to ensure our seeds grow up and come outta da oven/incubator/mother/pls girls dun kill me im oni joking here :P we aid in the upbringing of the child.

okay sien d, lets look at another point of view, wat bout gays lesbians bisexuals etc?
well from wat i knoe, gay relationships are harder to last since we got two seeders on each other so lust>love (males have to admit it that we cant function without sex, its in our genes :D)
and lesbians tend to have least breakups compare to gays, err not so sure if compared to straights though @.@

so lets come back again to relationships
the start of one
when guy likes girl, girl likes guy but duno tat first guy likes girl and 2nd guy dun like girl
(seriously this tends to happen alot LOL)
biggest prob here tends to be courage/fear actually , well guys mite not wana show/tell/admit/sms/email first because their just afraid to "lose" the girl and therfore when another guy goes after da girl first, due to our human law, we end up welling the whole issue into ourselves and become and emo time bomb since we cant release it and hammer da other male into da earth for approaching our potential mate ( what ? ITS TRUE ! less she is infertile but would still be a "mate' )

as for girls ~ ............. honestly sumone enlighten me how gals function, seriously a mistery >_>. cant blame them, their hormones are very unstable relative to guys .
to save me the misery i shall skip this part. dangerous yes ? when u writing bout sumting u have no idea on O_O

wat i knoe is YES girl do go gah gah when they see a potential mate(hot guys) as this translates tat the guy carry good genes for our offsprings. wether they get erection anot i duno ask them. my guess is unlikely, most likely just develop lust/love to the mate . guys when see hot girls get erection cuz biologically we can put our poles into da holes, and well females cant put holes onto a slag pole yes?

thus they have rituals in order to attract more mates (females oso want their genes pass down u knoe !!! u selfish guys who think other way !!!) well rituals being ................. figure it out urself =.= im just too lazy(scared) to write here

bleah, so wat i can say is take ur chances instead of regretting it later, seriously if u cant get means u cant get its better to get it over with instead of longing it secretly in ur heart while u think its a secret almost da whole world knoes d. we got mouth eyes and the internet, rite?
if by getting rejected leads to the other avoiding u and disliking u, well in truth they would not make a good friend anyway if their like tat. good riddance ! .. how u spell ridance... think its riddance.

warning: if you feel offended reading my posts, do not read it since ur just offending urself if u read it. press tat cross button on da top right ! err mac users got a red button ?

Dogs are Mens best friends, amen to that ! WOOF !

Yellow!!! Yet Another Sunrise

2008-07-02T13:25:00.002+08:00

Hi there fellow ppls, yet another good afternoon.
Wassup guys/gals, or wassdown for those in emo mood.
sky is clear, sunny afternoon.

Well i guess most of you would have guessed for there to be a post here means tat im bored
well, partly true. Cuz as of yesterday, i drained my main antiboredom resorces.

I finished all my House M.D. series, which is 3 full seasons plus season 4 1-9.
WoW... yea i still play,, but this early to play is boring since there is not much ppl in WoW
around this timing.

So here i am blogging. !!!SHOCK!!!

i noticed my blogstlye is kinda erratic.... maybbe tat could be an understatement so anyhoos..
ppl tend to blog bout sumting ... well u cant blog bout nothing could u ? well actually u can if u start to argue about the defination of nothing blablabla.

most blog bout their life events i guess, sum bout their feeling (RESPECT ! i can nvr seem to be able to write down my feelings for the entire world to see properly)

Soo...... wat should this blog post b?

Lets see,
wat can this twisted mind think of ^^~i like to faint insanity (maybe i am O_O) cuz it gives a wild new perspective

Lets talk bout LoVe

Is love but a chemical reaction in da brain ?
watched House and there was an episode where a girl fall in love due to
sum kinda spore in her brain.
makes u think huh ? LOVE POTION EXISTS !!!!

So Why LovE is there, (my point of view)
from a scientific point of view ~ to prevent extinction?
From Religious point of view ~ to preserve creation? (note: love for God is NOT the same)
ps: dun crucify me >.<

does it exist in animals? probably~ most likely in mammals oni though,
our bbrain is da most simalar to each other. cant see it in insects fish etc.

heres da funny thing bout love

normal human reaction to pain would be to avoid it.
so : human + pain = human distancing from pain

but when u put Love inside

Human + (love+pain) = stupid human who lust for more of it

funny how tat works

sure there are those who go : ILL NVR FALL IN LOVE AGAIN !!! which is total BS
(BS=bullshit)
sooner or later gonna happen again.

of course when im writing this im not thinking it through just typing wat comes to mind.

when thers love of course we cant negate jealousy,
the chemical reaction that is green.
viewing it from a evolutionary point of view, its a feeling that compels u to get wat u want/need
so why do we get angry when we see our gf get close to another guy?
same reason as why a gorilla bashes the other gorilla for going near his mate.

so ...............

im hungry, gonna continue it sum other time >_>

Lyrics From The Portal ~ Gan Lae Gan

2008-04-29T23:21:00.003+08:00

ถ้าบอกว่าเพลงนี้แต่งให้เธอ เธอจะเชื่อไหม
taa bok waa pleng nee dtaeng hai ter ter ja cheua mai
If I said that this song is made for you, would you believe it?

มันอาจไม่เพราะไม่ซึ้งไม่สวยงามเหมือนเพลงทั่วไป
man aat mai pror mai seung mai suay ngaam meuan pleng tua bpai
It's probably not melodious, not affectionate, not beautiful like other songs.

อยากให้รู้ว่าเพลงรัก ถ้าไม่รักก็เขียนไม่ได้
yaak hai roo waa pleng rak taa mai rak gor kian mai daai
I want you to know that if there's no love, you can't write a love song.

แต่กับเธอคนดีรู้ไหม ฉันเขียนอย่างง่าย...ดาย
dtae gap ter kon dee roo mai chan kian yaang ngaai ... daai
But for you, my dear, do you know? I wrote it easily.

เธอคงเคยได้ยินเพลงรักมานับร้อยพัน
ter kong koie dai-yin pleng rak maa nap roi pan
You've probably heard hundreds and thousands of love songs

มันอาจจะโดนใจ
man aat ja dohn jai
that's probably impressive

แต่ก็มีความหมายเหมือนๆกันแต่ถ้าเธอฟังเพลงนี้
dtae gor mee kwaam maai meuan-meuan gan dtae taa ter fang pleng nee
but with a similar meaning altogether, but if you listen to this song,

เพลงที่เขียนเพื่อเธอเท่านั้น
pleng tee kian peua ter tao nan
a song that's written simply for you.

เพื่อเธอเข้าใจความหมายแล้วใจจะได้มีกันและกัน
peua ter kao jai kwaam maai laew jai ja daai mee gan lae gan
For you to understand the meaning of it, our hearts will then have a connection.

ให้มันเป็นเพลงบนทางเดินเคียง ที่จะมีเพียงเสียงเธอกับฉัน
hai man bpen pleng bon taang dern kiang tee ja mee piang siang ter gap chan
Let it be a song on our pathways that consist only voices of you and me.

อยู่ด้วยกันตราบนานๆ
yoo duay gan dtraap naan-naan
Together as long as possible.

ดั่งในใจความบอกในกวีว่าตราบใดที่มีรักย่อมมีหวัง
dang nai jai kwaam bok nai ga-wee waa dtraap dai tee mee rak yom mee wang
As the meaning is told in a poetry that as long as there's love naturally there's hope.

คือทุกครั้งที่รักของเธอส่องใจ ฉันมีปลายทาง
keu took krang tee rak kong ter song jai chan mee bplaai taang
Means whenever your love shines through the heart, I have a goal.

มีความจริงอยู่ในความรักตั้งมากมาย
mee kwaam jing yoo nai kwaam rak dtang maak maai
There is a lot of facts found in love,

และที่ผ่านมาฉันใช้เวลาเพื่อหาความหมาย
lae tee paan maa chan chai way-laa peua haa kwaam maai
and in the past I used the time for the sake of finding the meaning.

แต่ไม่นานก็เพิ่งรู้ เมื่อทุกครั้งที่มีเธอใกล้
dtae mai naan gor perng roo meua took krang tee mee ter glai
But soon, I'd just know it, whenever you are near me,

ว่าถ้าชีวิตคือทำนอง เธอก็เป็นดังคำร้องที่เพราะและซึ้งจับใจ
waa taa chee-wit keu tam nong ter gor bpen dang kam rong tee pror lae seung jap jai
That if life's a rhythm, you are the lyrics that makes it beautiful.

ให้มันเป็นเพลงบนทางเดินเคียง ที่จะมีเพียงเสียงเธอกับฉัน
hai man bpen pleng bon taang dern kiang tee ja mee piang siang ter gap chan
Let it be a song on our pathways that consist only voices of you and me.

อยู่ด้วยกันตราบนานๆ
yoo duay gan dtraap naan-naan
Together as long as possible.

ดั่งในใจความบอกในกวีว่าตราบใดที่มีรักย่อมมีหวัง
dang nai jai kwaam bok nai ga-wee waa dtraap dai tee mee rak yom mee wang
As the meaning is told in a poetry that as long as there's love naturally there's hope.

คือทุกครั้งที่รักของเธอส่องใจ ฉันมีปลายทาง
keu took krang tee rak kong ter song jai chan mee bplaai taang
Means whenever your love shines through the heart, I have a goal.

มีทางเดินให้เราเดินเคียง และมีเสียงของเธอกับฉัน
mee taang dern hai rao dern kiang lae mee siang kong ter gap chan
There's a pathway for us to walk side by side and there are voices of you and me.

มีทางเดินให้เราเดินร่วมเคียง และมีเสียงของเธอกับฉัน
mee taang dern hai rao dern ruam kiang lae mee siang kong ter gap chan
There's a pathway for us to walk side by side and there are voices of you and me.

Reminiscence

2008-04-25T02:14:00.001+08:00

Friends Through Time

As time flies through the branches
green leaves becomes rotten.
Will you leave your past memories
and friends be forgotten?

There has been joy
there has been tears.
But will you end up alone
living in a world full of fears?

Some seek to manipulate
some seek to mend.
The most important question is :
what do you seek in a friend?

A true friend is irreplaceable
a person who understands you.
Would you trade them for a pot of gold
and abandon what they done for you?

Time is a cruel thing
it breaks up relationships and brings pain to thee.
What will you do if it happens,
seek to mend it or let it be?

Cherish the things friends do for you
Remember the times when your with your friends
Let it be ups and downs
For the experiences you have been through shall be a lesson
One that cannot be obtained through a lecture
And let the lesson be remembered
Until your final heart-beat

Learn you must that in life you must not be alone
or else it wouldnt be life at all
It will be an empty husk of a once rich seed
waiting to be blown away by time at fall.

~YeN~

Yo Ho Ho to Emptiness

2008-02-03T03:36:00.000+08:00

Yo Ho Ho
Supreme Boredom Has Succesfully Drive Me Here To This Blog Again

So I guess The common question would be:
What's Up?

Well The Ceiling i guess =.=
well actually Infusion 2008 performance has just finish
though personally, i feel that nothing much have occured
nothing big, nothing significant.
I duno why but things seems to be so "empty" to me
lately, any idea guys?
Lets not go to try a new perspective nonsense,

My life is Summarized into:
1)Class
2)Anime
3)Manga
4)DoTA
5)Sleep
6)Eat

Sigh, i always hoped theres sumtin more to this
but i cant find any
Think i should start a hobby or sumtin >_>
but things im intrested in i have no funds T_T

Meh,
Fun, Excitement, Surprise
This elements are missing from my life.
Well, i gain sum of that via the Anime and Mangas
but sumtimes realife ones are more ... real.
hehehe
Time shall take its course i guess,
Everythings Feels so...
Empty

PS: im not in a down mood or anything, so dont worry guys
just wana write on how i view things lately
Empty

2007-12-26T16:05:00.000+08:00

Sooo Its Past Christmas and...
I FINNALY GET MY FIRST CHRISTMAS PRESENT !!!!

WOOOHOOO

well present as in "Present"

Its a hamper from dove that i won,
surprising since when i was writing on the card i was
mumbling, bleh simply write lah cannot win one
so anyway here it is !!!
arrived today ~~~Packed like how all hampers are packed, i proceeded to rip away the ugly wrapping

And TADA omg the santa is damm cute lah
haha my mum wants it
so gave it to her
then here is wats in the hamper ^^

hmm missing two more bars of soap, forgot to put in, hehe
lazy to take another pic d
since my dog was rampaging nearby for attention.
guess ill be using Dove for the entire year d next year
LOLz

Melli Kelismas Guys & Gals
And dont fall sick like me,
Stupid Cough Block Nose and Sorethroat !!

Oh and Enjoy Ur Results ~
Im getting mine tomolo
WEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

What Am I ?

2007-11-29T16:15:00.001+08:00

Weak
I have became so weak,
I use to be able to endure through
Now to break so easily
Pathetic.

To be able to stand by myself again
To be strong on my own
I have been through this before
Things that I thought would happen
Happens
Things that I wish to happen
Never do

Hanging on that thread of hope
Refusing to let go
Yet reality dawns upon
And hope came crashing to the ground

I lost so much before
I will lose more ahead
But I shall endure
Like I have any other choice.

In Dream I shall recide
In Heart I shall hide
I shall endure the tides
Let it carry me through the nite…

~When God created me, What was He thinking~
Yen

2007-11-01T21:36:00.000+08:00

U know you are in NUS after midterm period when
You look at your friends personal messages and get:
Hahahahha. . .
Seriously, do other Uni's make their poor students
go like that ?

~To Balance between Work & Life~

Senses

2007-10-25T14:00:00.000+08:00

It's like a cycle, things keep repeating, though not exactly the same
there are always the similarities.
Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset
Classes assignments reports tests
sleep wakeup eat sleep
on and on and on
well this are the things that we dont really have to bother to knoe it is a cycle.

But pause and think
wat about the ones around us, sure u might just say their going through the same thing
as usual,
yet, do you no notice the changes in them
or do u choose to be just ignorant.
There are those that need us when we are
in the midst of doing our work.
no matter how busy you are, things around u continues to change,
there is no pause button, that allows u continue from where u stopped.
The me you know yesterday is not the me you know today.

Yet, some ppl views things like a cycle, like:
Oh shes doing that again,
it's one of his emo periods, he will get over it one day.

STOP and consider, you are something tangible to them,
things you do DOES effect them,
no matter how small it is,
A simple hi and goodnite,
a listening ear.
Things that we could do that can change how a person's cycle is
NEI, it is not a cycle, its a path. We are not in a cycle.
Things that has past will nvr occur again,
"shes always emo one" and "it's his emo period again"
if you already KNOW it is repetitive,
yet u let it repeat.
Maybe its you that is the missing link, that can stop the repetition.
(or worsen it depending on your actions)
But standing by idly does not aid.
Do something, at least try.
It is not easy to understand a person's heart.
But it is still doable.

The
Lock-Heart

A heart, filled with feelings and emotions,
Yet, unable to open itself to others,
Chained and locked by fear, pride and distrust.
It longs to share what that is within,
Always hoping that one day the key would come,
To unlock and release it from the heavy rusty chains....

~Spare me just a small part of your life~
Yen

Heart Art- Heart

2007-10-15T13:21:00.001+08:00

When you too much free time (due to procrastination) what do you do?
Me i doodle. Below are my recent doodles in what state could a person heart be in.
inspired through observation from people around me and myself .

So which kinda heart is yours, though normally comprise of a few of the states.
okay, i oni doodled two here , more will come soon . Ahaha...
Thorn Heart
A heart full of love and care, a blossom for the other,
Yet the yearning binds and constricts, bleeding itself , hurting.
This heart wants to offer all the love it can, but it also forms
thorn vines that binds and constrict itself, resulting in feelings
of constraint and ache.
Frost Heart
A fragile, cold heart, formed from the loss of love
the lack of love turns the heart cold and empty,
ever yearning for the warmth of love.
But yet, fragile, easily smashed into shards,

Nei... I'm lost...

2007-10-07T03:59:00.000+08:00

Where am i going? I dunno... do you..? Would you kindly tell me if you do ?
...
Most probably you dont know too...
Thatz okay, ill just take another step forward.
Where to ?
Good question...
Lets see...where am i ...
Im standing, in a barren place, no home here i guess.
Kinda drizzling abit too, though there some warmth along with it.
This warmth, it feels really nice ^^, but somehow i sense it fleeting away...
hmm. the rain might get heavier if that happens i guess.
The winds are blowing kinda rough, guess must be those times.
Whats this? Ouh a frozen shard...It feels cold,
yet i feel like this belongs to me.
Guess ill keep it close, maybe one day it will thaw.
Hmm, quite cloudy, not surprise, since its drizzling after all.
Oh, theres an oasis there... seems like a mirage though...
the warmth also seems to becoming from there too...
hmm... maybe i should head there? i don't seem to have any other direction anyway...
other paths? hmm maybe if i see something interesting along the way.
The sky looks violent there though, maybe it will clear
by the time i reach there.
Besides, i would like to enjoy this warmth for a little longer
Ah well, i better get moving, nothing to do here anyway,
what about ya? care to join in my travel..?
ouh?
emm, guess you have your own path to walk huh...?
Is there anyone else with me? Oh, well you here for now.
Thats counted too rite ^^.
Would i be alright? Haha, don't worry,
I am kinda use to walking alone. . .
besides, you can never really know what lies ahead can you?
guess thats what makes each step count.
well then i should get going now, i pray our path cross again one day.
...
Safe journey to you too.
**Takes another step forward to the warmth. . . .**
:---:~{Overlaying Dreams Upon Reality}~:---:

The Cycle

2007-09-11T01:51:00.000+08:00

I never learn do i . . .

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Save me from my self...

In Memories of Twister. . .

2007-09-08T08:22:00.000+08:00

You were such a small figure, such a tiny entity, and yet you were so many things to me.
Though i can't remember the day when u came into my arms,
I remembered the memories when we were together,
When you were my...

~Friend~
You were always there, always ready, to play around with me.
To cheer me up with your energetic behavior.
You never fail to remove the loneliness i often felt in my life.
Your dark brown eyes always seems so understanding,
You never refuse me your ear when i needed it,
Listening to all my troubles and comforting me with your warmth. . .
I shall always remember, how u wake me up by knocking on my door,
So you can come into my room, just to snuggle under my blanket.
I will remember the times, when i was studying for examination,
You were always there, beside me staying with me through the whole nite.
Your presence never fail to give strength to me to go through the piles of books.

~Guardian~
How you would bark at strangers,
The way you protect my stuffs when others try to take it,
How you attack those who hits me,
Having you by my side makes me feel safe, protected.
Though small in size, you were big in courage.
The brown coat that you have always give me comfort,
The times when you attacked me after i annoy you too much,
The way you playfully attack the blanket,
The way you lick my face to give me encouragement,
The soft yet rough feel of your paws on my face...

~Pillar~
You have been my support when i was about the crumble,
Somehow you manage to prevent me from breaking down,
Those dark brown eyes of yours always give a sense of love and understanding,
And yet you never have to say a word.
When i feel the world is against me,
You would come along and show me that i could face the world
I would always remember the times you were there for me when im down,
never questioning, always there to listen, always supportive
The times when you would be there to greet me home,
After i come back from a tiring day.
How you jump around in excitement at the sight of me,
When everyone else is too busy to greet me back...

~Secret Keeper~
How i would tell you my feelings when I'm down,
How you were patient with me on the matters that i do
The way you allow me to remove that many masks that i wear,
You never scrutinize, never criticize.
How you would take good care of your pups,
How you allow me to handle them.
How i could trust you on not stealing my food.
The way you bark and jump about to ask for food,
The small pink tongue of yours when your panting,
The way you squirm about when i bath you,
Causing me to be wet all over and thus having to bath myself after that...

~Love~
Always you show care and love to me,
You never get bored of me being the boring person i am,
Always beside me whenever i need you,
How you never hated me for the times i treat you badly,
Always forgiving in the things you do,
How you get jealous when i play with the others,
Ill remember the time when i just got you,
How you would chase your own tail about
Thus gaining your name,
Though your name was a miscommunication between me and my uncle,
Your name shall forever be engraved in my heart,
The warmth of your cheek when i kiss it,
The soft-cold feeling of your nose,
How your hair makes me itch
The tears in your eyes after seeing me when i come back after a long while. . .

Never will i be able to place all that we have been through into text,
A task impossible since there are no words that could describe the feelings that i have for you,
In this short life of yours with me, i wonder, how do you feel.
Were you contented? Happy with your life?
Were you sad, depress or angry,
I wish you could tell me.
I hope you feel the same as i felt for you,
The ups and downs that we been through together.
I never regretted a single moment i had with you,
No matter how bad the moment could be.
Yet after all this,
I wish you could forgive me.
After all that we have been through,
I couldn't be by your side during your final moments,
I couldn't comfort you through your pain as how you did for me,
I couldnt give you the warmth that you gave me during my ordeal,
You gave so much and taken so little in this small life of yours,
Yet at your final hours i couldnt be there for you,
The last image of you in my mind is the sight of you at the door,
watching me leave in the car to go to the bus stop,
Tell me, did you know that time could be the final time you could see me,
I remember the last words i told you before i left:-
Take care of the family and behave well when I'm gone.
And seeing you flick your sharp ears about as i whisper into yours . . .
Did it hurt? I hope you were able to pass on peacefully.
I hope that you were happy with your life.
I hope you enjoy the time with me and the family.
Are you in a better place now? How is it like?
...
I'm sorry, I'm really sorry for not taking care of you better,
Would you blame me?
I couldnt stop my flow of tears right now,
Would you be angry at me for being so weak?
I know i should be letting go, but please give me some time,
The loss of you has been a great blow to me,
I hope you will understand.

Again, I'm sorry for not being able to be by your side,
I hope that you will forgive me...

Twister, I love you and I always will. . .
..~Rest in Peace~..
8th September 2007

~Feelings~

2007-09-03T01:40:00.000+08:00

Warm to the touch,
A sight for the sore,
Without doing much,
You warm me to the core.

To hold you to sleep,
To have your warmth on me,
Your gentle breath as you sleep,
Would be like a gentle lullaby to me.

How i wish for me to be with you,
How i yearn for your company,
But it could not be true,
Due to our current society. . .

~yen~

Yen~To be with you

-nil-

2007-09-01T01:46:00.000+08:00

I'm doing the same thing again. . .
The thing that i hate myself for doing so . . .
Though i cant help myself, for its beyond my control. . .
Yet again i suffer, yet again i hide. . .
Feeling lost and confuse,
Feeling alone among friends,
Feelings that i hate,
but yet they come,
The burn in the heart when there is yearning,
The frost that develops when it is no obtained,
For i am a small human, one that has it's needs,
Barriers build by society, chained by rules,
Ever-present, Ever-there, Ever-dominating,
To hide in myself, to seek for a safe haven,
Though its safe, loneliness creeps in,

How i wish i could be a puppy,
Just to sleep in warmth,
Just to enjoy the comfort,
A worry not in mind,
See a puppy's face when its asleep,
How it shows, How it feels,
How i wish i am one. . .
~yen~

Code Name: Dream

2007-08-30T12:40:00.000+08:00

Ahhh its raining again ^_^
this time im not under the rain hahahaha
so can enjoy . . . .

Anyhoo, today i went to the HERBALIFE bodymass check thingy
and well, im certified fat now XD
hahaha, previously thought that im 64 KG (own weigh)
the electronic weight they have said otherwise-66.7
thatz like almost a 3 kg different, i can blame the clothes and pants that im wearing,
but i will not ^^
Plus the body fat % was at 19 while the ideal one is around 10% for me
was adviced to shed those pounds away, then they came with the real motive:
Selling u da product, btw HERBALIFE is a MLM company so the ppl
gain more money for the product they sell ^^
Since my dad oso joined, guess i could get from him lah.
They looks dissapointed when i told em tat XD HAHA.

Anyway lets go to da title,
DREAM
ever had a dream so nice you just dont want to wake up from,
sigh, once in awhile i get em, though nice to dream about it,
i feel angry and moody after i wake up
since i knoe its a dream and have to face my harsh realities
The thing is those dreams are not those type of fantasy like ones,
its close to reality, as in normal just that things u wished happen in you
normal life happened. . . hen u wake up, feeling miserable,
and knowing that the odds of what happened in you dream to happen in real
life is too low. . . that was an understatement, very low.
The worst thing is when u relate the dream to your current state,
For example u dream u score full As in ur exam then u woke,
then when u check ur results. . . it wasn't really. . .
Guess u could apply it to the rest such as striking lottery, person you have a crush on,
getting a car etc. etc etc.
Its just that during the moment in that dream, everything is just so real
and you feel so happy. . . then u realize its just a dream,
its sorta like realities mean joke or sumtin on u.
One of Life's (that bitch) cruel tricks.
Maybe some of ya have a dream come true before,
for me. . . as far as i remember i don't think i had one . T_T
Sighh, feel like locking myself in those dreams forever,
ahh well, Life's a bitch anyway, shes mean !
(meaner then Storm,MUCH MUCH MUCH MEANER !!!!)
though she has her kind periods. . . (Rarely)

Guess i should just stop dreaming and live with reality . . .
so i should just take control of what i can :
Health and Studies, Friends and Family.

Oh yea, must loose the fats thus:
Operation Weight Lost Through Doing Stupid Stuff
*~OWLTDSS~*
BEGINS !

works for me before, should work for me again ^^

Yen~Dreamz. . . .

Issue: Umbrella. . . .

2007-08-28T13:35:00.000+08:00

First of all, pls no one start on the umbrella song >_>
Okay, so i woke this morning, around 9 45
(actually woke at around 7.30, urgh, i dunno why i wake be4 alarms this days)
so it was raining, thus unable to go to lab at 10 due to rain
(I don't own an Umbrella)
thus weeee get to go lab later lalalala,
*snuggles in bed*
then rain stoped around 1015
Time to go lab .
(Fast Forward >>)
okay so time for lunch,
was suppose to go meet Syen for collecting my A4 papers,
but instead i had to attend a meeting with my mentor,
so asked her to take for me instead (Big ERROR)
So i qued for the horridly long que in the science canteen (Yong Tau Foo)
then when was eating halfway nicely, *BROOOMM*
Thunder and rain = Storm?
This Rain
Not This One
Zzzzzzzzz
Sensing the rain oso means sensing the storm,
Not this Storm
But a scarier one:
*play thunder sound*
Scary rite T_T
for those who dunno
Syen=Storm

GAaaa aparently because of purchasing the A4 paper for me
(She was kind enuff to buy me two stacks)
And due to the Rain, she was stucked at the Lib wet and drench,
**IM DRENCHED TO ON MY WAY BACK TO THE LAB**
Then thus due to that T_T
My pocket hurting d . . .
Im gonna owe here B&J for that.
So lets culculate here
Buying A4 paper from shop ~ 5.50
asking her to buy =4.50
B&J as transportation fee~5? ( not sure )
swt total T_T =

Mostly due to Umbrella T_T
I bet she din have an ella with her at that time . . .

Yen~ Shiverz

PS: dont kill me syen T_T

2007-08-25T17:35:00.000+08:00

	Alone~English Translation
	A dry breeze is blowing The city is getting cold I wonder how many seasons have passed without even a sound?
	All of the people coming and going bear heavy burdens, searching for tomorrow within the heat haze wavering in the distance.
	Feelings like sand falling through my hands... Back then, the words that pierced my heart suddenly started to throb with pain, but...
	I've searched for pieces of myself, counting the endless nights all the while. These feelings are becoming so certain I almost lose myself. Right now, without fail, I will walk forward, however far.
	I wonder, why is the sky so vast? Even though I tried to yell, my voice didn't come and the tears poured out.
	I wonder where the birds are flying off to, as they freely slice through the wind? One can't return to the same place as it once was in days gone by.
	Even if I give up my dream like this, I won't suppress my soaring heartbeat. Someday, I want to reach as high as the clouds. ^[1] I'll spread wide the wings in my heart and journey once again
	I will reach it, without fail.
	I've searched for pieces of myself, counting the endless nights all the while. These feelings are becoming so certain I almost lose myself. Right now, without fail, I will walk forward, however far.

Sudden freedom? ? ?

2007-08-23T10:22:00.000+08:00

Lab was suddenly canceled today.
soo... here i am . . .
free. . .
Ever got the moment that some certain appointment got canceled
suddenly, normally at the last minute, then you realise.
What am i going to do now with this time. . .
its some thing like:

Too bz to think of what to enjoy by urself,
and when your free, you dunno what to do to enjoy the time. . .
annoying feeling.
anyhoo recovered from safe mode d.
thnx guy for bearing with me.
Noww. . . i need groceries, im almost run out of essentials
shampoo, instant noodles, bread, detergent.
Gahhh
anyhoo, its already the second week of class,
somehow i feeling like im either too bz or too free
when im too free i have nothing better to do
(dont call me to study cuz i wont if i dont feel like it)
anime is the best alternative i guess, meh
The class i DREAD the most is Bioinformatics.
I HATE IT HATE HATE HATE HATE !!!
1: Its god damm boring
2: the way the lecturer teach makes it boringer
3:the stupid practical is damm annoying and boring !!!!!
there!!!
it irritates me as much as watching a video of elmo and barney dancing with each other
feel like taking a shotgun and blasting them up to little bits
MAUAHAHHAHAHA

Yen-Blastz

Mode: Safe Mode

2007-08-20T13:25:00.000+08:00

Guys im sure u have noticed my low energy mode since
i came back from the camp.
so i might not be the Yen you knoe when im around you.
Chains of events have leaved me both physically and mentally drained.
So ill say sorry first, just in case my negative energies are effecting the rest of you.

Things to do things to think things to decide. . .

I need a moment of peace. . .

2007-08-19T16:24:00.000+08:00

Just back from SPS camp.
Finally met the new freshies of SPS and guess what
I AM SURPRISED !!!
The freshies this year at SPS much different from the previous batch.
its as if they dont belong there at all
(not considering how many of em will drop out)
theres like this group of freshies who dont look like the study type.
you would have seen them, cause there are like
5 of em who were in the SCIENCE Rag Dance !!!!
hahaha WHICH also leads to there being shuai guys and pretty gals in SPS
and they much ON lah . would be very intresting to listen to their views and perspective.
mite wana drop by the IS(interactive sessions) once in awhile just to listen to them
shooting each other .

guess if anyone is still reading my blog
they mite wonder why the sudden return of me
well the reason is
STRESS

i need sumwhere to channel it after all
sum that knoe me would ask:
Dont u DotA to release stress
Good question!
its just that i have not been receiving dota invite for around a week d
and the Stress Lvl NEEDS management or else
me and the people around me shall suffer.

Sigh.. dead tired now but have Cluster Leader training
*Prays i dont fall asleep halfway through*

NEY-Sleepzzzzzzz

2007-08-17T17:55:00.001+08:00

Let me start this blog with an

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

My stupid stuffs in my stupid bag damaged my laptop skin !!!
JEEZ !!!
not theres this ugly peel there
DAmmit !!!
I BLAME THE STUPID RAIN
if not becuz of the rain i wouldnt have place my lappy in my bag T_T
Maria's new dress now damaged.... sighhh
urgh. . .
i can already feel james going to tell me:-
I told you to get the laptop sleeve

sniff sniff. . .
ahh well, at least the skin protected my lappy from damage. . .
tomolo going to have to go to SPS camp d
seriously wonder what kinda people will be there
its Special Program for Science Camp after all. . .
*prays it not NERD inc.*
last years bath there was this NERD that brought a Chem book
to the chem. Its not the thin one, its those that are 4-5cm thick.
damm siao lah .
Hopefully itll be fun.
but the games should be ^^
might also consider using sum of the games for MSL day too
if there is time i guess. . .
anyway i better bath and get changed. just back from class.
Yen~ SPLASHEZ

Mentally Drained

2007-08-17T01:14:00.000+08:00

Guyz im facing a little bit of problem...
the video turned out to be 4 GB in size. . .
WTF !!
yea i knoe i knoe . . .
anyone knoe how to kecik it so i can upload up onto you tube ?
T_T

my first week of skool is really tiring,
ive been almost running about from either 9 - 6 or 8-6
not counting meetings after 6 lah
yesterday(time), was very down when my experiment failed.
we had so much hope that it would finally succeed. . .
not only that, we were suppose to give a brief presentation today
and our slides arent ready and so is my brain.

i really wana rest... truly rest...
when would that ever come i wonder.
for now
Coffee would be my best friend
im certainly going to be coffee addict soon
if i continue being like this.
Tralalalalala
soo... tired..
better read up on one more journal paper
before i go sleep.
Yen~ OUTZ

Dead Blog

2007-07-22T02:22:00.000+08:00

Dead Blog
.....

IT ISNT !!!
Its just that conveniently im just too busy to update it. Labs UFO etc
haha
today had a hella a time with da freshies
dey damm great bunch ni XD
i would say that i would upload pictures and all that
onto this blog, but preferably
how bout a video instead ^^
thats right u read correctly
I Wang Jun Yen
(btw James, this is how u spell my name ni)
Promise that i will upload a video of the recent events onto this blog XD
gimme... 1 week like that can ?
lets see
its a good bargain ma
if a picture is worth a thousand words
then imagine a video containing ALOT of pictures
with comments to boot !!!

Fluffy Logic Portal
THE REOPENING OF THE DEAD PORTAL
Coming Soon To
wjyen.blogspot.com

Written By : Wang Jun Yen
Directed by: Wang Jun Yen
Dedicated to: ALL OF MY MSL FRIENDS !!!
I love you guys/gals
( just incase got ppl think im sexist)

( i think by now James can remember my name d and spell it oso hor ?)

2007-06-12T19:33:00.000+08:00

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:

1. Yen
2. Chubby (=.=) die !!!!!
3. Ducky (lets not go there)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1. my eyes
2. my skin XD
3. my brain ? is that physical?

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:

1. Hokkien...
2.Chinese
3. Malaysian , is tat heritage?

THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T STAND:

1. People who whines alot (think overly pampered kids)
2. Durian =.=
3. not being able to play dota T_T

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:

1. Losing my laptop =.=
2. Losing friends and family
3. Ending up alone

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SHOWS:

1. Heroes
2. The Simpsons
3. Friends

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE JAPANESE ANIMES:

1. Bleach
2. One piece
3. Shounen Onmyouji

THREE OF YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONGS:

1. Alones- Aqua Timez
2. I'm Yours- Jason Mraz
3. KanKan- Vanessa Mae XD

THREE MOVIES YOU CAN WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN:

1. Pirates of the carribean (trilogy)
2. Shrek trilogy
3. V for Vendetta

THREE MOVIES YOU WOULD LIKE TO WATCH:

1. Transformers !!!
2. Taiyou no Uta (A Song to the Sun)...
3. Fantastic 4, silver surfer

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:

1. The internet
2. The DotA (sumtimes dont get to play though)
3. FOOD !!!

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:

1. Pink giordano polo T
2. Dark blue shorts
3. My glasses

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:

1. Humour XD
2. Excitement
3. LOVE !!!!

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE GENDER THAT APPEAL TO YOU:

1. Smooth skin
2. Nice eyes
3. nice hands???

THREE BAD HABITS:

1. shaking leg (dont hit me T_T)
2. yawning and forgeting to close mouth
3. overeat?

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:

1. WAtching anime
2. Gaming
3. PETS !!!

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:

1. Stop coughing =.=
2. DOTA
3. Murder dell for delaying my laptop

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING OR CURRENTLY PURSUING:

1. Research Scienctist
2. Entrepreneur in new businesses
3. Mad scientist bent on world conquest

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:

1. JAPAN !!!!!
2. NEW ZEALAND !!
3. DISNEYLAND !!! or UNIVERSAL STUDIOS !!

THREE KIDS' NAMES YOU LIKE:

1. harr??? arent kid names still names ==
2. wat utter nonsense
3. all names are nice since their lovingly bestowed by the parents

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:

1. Freefall !!!
2. Own a siberian husky XD
3. Get my name down in the history books

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GUY (or girl):

1. Goes nuts over electronical gadgets XD
2. LOVE DOTA !!!
3. bathing takes less then 15 minutes

INITIALS OF THREE CRUSHES:

1. #_#
2. @_@
3. O_o

THREE PEOPLE YOU TAG TO DO THE SURVEY:

1. Ryan
2. Ryan
3. Ryan

=.= NOW DO THIS THREE TIMES AGAIN !!!

Unforeseen Circumstances (correct spelling?)

2007-06-07T01:17:00.000+08:00

ahem ahem, due to unforeseen circumstances, this blog will be "close" till further notice
i am terribly sorry for the inconvenience caused.

Solitude

2007-04-13T17:04:00.000+08:00

Its been raining almost everyday, not them i am complaining about the rain, it keeps my room cool and comfortable. The thing that am depressed of is the solitude that the examination studying period is giving me. Most days i go through the entire day without any of my friends insight, its not that i'm avoiding them, just that they prefer to study by themselves and group studies to them is unproductive. Sigh.. unproductive as it maybe at least they fill my day with smiles and laughter. Now the sight that i see is just the rain falling outside of my window while i sadly scribble notes from the lecture slides in preparation for the exam. Might be going insane soon. Some might argue that there is MSN and we can chat that way, but MSN is nothing compared to face to face communications.

Worst yet, i am beginning to feel distant from my friends, their becoming more and more stranger like to me. But what am i to do, but just let the wave of life move along. I grew weary of this, i pray by the end of the examination, they would still be the same as they were last sem, or maybe i should pray that i'll be the same as i was, i change alot in solitude, and there's always a chance that it will effect the relationship around me.

The sound of the rain,
Accompany my pain,
Drown away my sorrow,
Show me light tomorrow.

O_O

2007-04-01T16:33:00.000+08:00

http://www.myheritage.com

Okay, remember that time that i luff at lin cuz his face matched 3 girls and oni one guy >_>
aparently his not the only one T_T

The Ivory Throne Of Mine

2007-03-22T02:16:00.000+08:00

I sit on my throne of ivory and ponder,
What would happen today I wonder,
While I wonder in this mind,
I cleanse this body of mine.

In this chamber where I am king,
None dare to bother even when I sing,
Some scrolls I did unroll,
while I wonder why is the world so cold.

Reside in here I can no longer,
No more time left for me to ponder,
There is much work to conquer,
With haste I left. . . and forgot the water.

( XP )

2007-03-19T00:04:00.000+08:00

New song, this song seriously touches me, makes me think back on all the frens that i had and drifted apart due to distance and different study streams, sigh, misses the good old days, listen to it, then tell me what emotion did the song induce it ya, to me was sadness and all the more reason to cherish my friends

2007-03-16T21:43:00.000+08:00

A good song will induce alot of emotions in you, where you can feel the type of emotion the song is trying to portray, this song reached me, im SURE you have heard of it before, but listen to it again, it some sort revitalize my torn being abit. Enjoyz. Press Play. heee

"I that you could be whatever you wanted to be,If you could realise all the dream you have inside."

2007-03-13T01:51:00.000+08:00

Well Because Syen said im not allowed to deflect the TAG RAY back to her, heres 6 unique things about me.

1) I LOVE DOGS !! I'm crazy over them, generally i'm not afraid of dogs unless their the type which has been train to guard the house and attack strangers, cant blame them if they attack me, its their job ^^. and i sometimes DO feel dogs are better then men (place proud emo here)

2) I seem to have an addiction towards instant noodle, i'm not sure i eat them because im hungry anymore, i eat them because i WANT to eat them. . . maybe got drugs inside >_>

3) Me love RPG games, i can go on and on about an RPG game that i like and played, all the better if sumone also played and we got stuffs to discuss, XD RPG GAME ROCKS !!!!Its like an adventurous story book XD

4) I always wish i would grow taller XD, this must be induce by my brother, the fact that i have to "look up" to him makes me grrrrrrrr, not that we are having a bad relationship or sumtin, more like sibling rivalry, im sur some of ya would understand ^^

5) I day dream about creating stuffs, ranging from might be useful if i were able to do it stuff to nonsense stuff like creating new character for an anime along with their power and all.

6) I wear a mask all the while so no one will know who i really am. Muhahaahahaha.

I tag. . .
*aims tag beam gun*
at hmm....
*tag beam gun fully charged*
errrr maybe....
*Warning Tag Beam gun Overloaded*
damm i guess i will just chooose
*Tag Beam Gun Implodes, Destroying everything around it*
Mamamia i see the light!!!

Unleashing What's Inside

2007-03-09T00:41:00.000+08:00

My situation has deteriorated, my inner core has becoming more and more unstable, with no pillar for support, its breaking down fast. I've begun to despise people around me, seeing them makes me feel disgust of some sort, i just wish they vanish, or i just wish i would vanish, either way solves the problem. Hate is such a powerful thing. Its strength is equivalent to that of the so called love, and yet, it grows stronger since u cant actually break it can you? But love, love is like the seed of hate, if u manage to break love, hate is born from it. Beautiful isn't it? Like love, hate is also a a good motivator, because of such hatred, you would do anything for that hatred.

No longer do i remember the time where i last truly enjoyed my life, when was it? Each day i tread this ball of dirt just to reach to the next day again and again. It's sickening, and all along there seems to be nothing to look forward to in the next day. Why hope? Hope that something fun and happy would come along? Hoping that what you hope for will come true? Why bother to hope when most of the time you would just be disappointed. Wake up go class, do assignment, study for test and get the grades that you deserve, why bother whining over low grades, u get what you put into it!

Human will never return to the purity of mind when they were a child, their despicable disgusting creatures that roam this ball of dirt, scraping their way to gain more and more possessions which continues to blind them of what they have become. When was the last time you have a good nice sleep, the kind of sleep you see in babies, puppies and so on, they go on to rest without worrying bout the next day, probably to oblivious to the world around them. But their not to be blamed. Yet, what do YOU think of when you go to bed, probably missing your close ones or worrying bout the upcoming test or what time to wake up for class, need to do assignment the next day. All that i really want is just to be able to sleep like that again, to doze off without a worry in mind. That would not be possible i guess. Even now I'm cursing for the pile of assignments to complete, papers to read, reports to type, projects to complete, tests to study, classes to attend, and not being able to be home while im stuck in this sickening place.

Sometimes i truly wonder is this worth it.

What's the thing that makes you want to wake up in the morning to start another day? Don't give me the alarm clock , sun crap. The thing that makes me wanna wake up and start another forsaken day would be my family, mostly my mom and my grandma, cause i wanna make them happy by seeing their child being able to achieve success. . . in a way, aside from that i duno what do i wake up for.

*<-Fill The Void Within Me->*

2007-03-05T21:58:00.000+08:00

Oh well, i'm too bored so im just going to update my blog, been quite long, since the Valentines day post, well, ill start with my CNY, sadly this year's CNY is worst then last year's. All my friends are like stucked overseas and couldnt come back, so i dont have any ppl to gamble with.. aheheh and sumore din really enjoy it cuz most of the time i just rot at home with my ps2 . Lol.

So then after coming back from my break ( CRAP ! ) notice everyone studying hard for their test d, so felt kinda lost and lonely cuz im not studying and no one free to mix around with. oh well i just have to start studying myself i guess, though i dont get it why they dont study together anymore, maybe they found it unproductive.

My first test was horrible, felt so stupid in there, sigh my fault for not studying harder i guess, well i plan to start being serious for my studies but i dont seem to be able to find the mood to do so, i prefer clicking here and there and doing anything just to avoid touching my books.

yesterday i went to ikea with boon tiong and wai si, managed to get sit cushion and a potted money plant ( haha luff ahead i like to see it in my DULL room). Since i got the sit cushion i shifter my bed so that i can put the chair by the table again, sitting on the bed unables me to lean back so its killing my back, now it feels much better to sit by the table.

still though this days my social meter is like in the dumps, havent comunicate with the rest much, most of the time their buzy studying in their own room d, even the 5b gang withdraw back to their rooms. maybe should call own room gang or sumtin. ah well must be a sign from above telling me to conc on my studies d. But i seriously miss hanging out with the rest while we crack dumb stuff at each other and desperately trying to concentrate instead of doing so .

Its no longer so, i guess its better this way . . . in a way, i got a review paper to write and also a report/project to do, and need to study for genetics and buck up my chinese. i guess ill end this here for now. Till the next post.

I stare out my window
and i feel the change in the world.

*-END-*

2007-02-13T17:14:00.000+08:00

Well It's that time of the year again, Roses Chocolates and hearts everywhere. The day for Love is imminent, ITS VALENTINE'S DAY!!! Couples holding hands, sharing chocolates, exchanging gifts yada yada. Well during this day, through my view, i could separate them into a few groups of people(unmarried ones atleast) :

New Couples: New couples who are going through their first Valentine day, where the couple will most appreciate each other and what they did for each other that day

Old couples : Couple who are having a repeat of the Valentine's day, provided that the year they went through wasn't rough, they might be lovey dovey as before, well if it was rough, quarrels cheatings, unfaithfulness ect, the day might be rather . . .tension

Far Couples: Couples which are two far away to celebrate valentine's day with each other though long term relationship tends to lead to someone going astray
(Thnks Alex For reminding me ^^) *updated*

Single Type A: Having a crush on sumbody and wishing to be together with the person on that day. (Can work both ways if neither has proposed)

Single Type B: The one having a crush on someone but that sum one already has sum one in their mind therefore the one would most likely wear a mask to hide his/her feeling and to hold back the jealousy and the pain

Single Type C: The one which is on a rebound from a relationship or rejected and prefers not to get involve in the lovey dovey stuff for now

Single Type D: The Null person who has no one in their mind but can't help to feel lonely due to the atmosphere around them.

Hmm, currently i would put my self in Type D. At least for now.

Anyway, guys who have been spending their parents money in courting that gf of yours, have you give a thought of giving you mom some valentine as well? She is one of the person who loves you most in this world, why don't take SOME effort and give her what she deserves. A card, a rose or a gift to show how much u appreciate her love and care. And SHE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR GIRLFRIEND !!!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY MIMI AND MAHMAH !!!
ILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU !!!

The World is Bland

2007-02-11T02:23:00.000+08:00

Time to whine again,
Notice why ppl are addicted to games, movies, shows, animes, books ect?
BECAUSE THEY HAVE A SENSE OF EXCITEMENT IN IT

Compare to this monogamous world of ours, everything seems to be stuck in some kinda time wheel that seems to repeat itself in a way. (this oni applies to we single ppl who has ntg better to do in life and not to those couple who looks forward to another day together, [ GARGH ! ] )

What happened to the element of surprise in life? Jeez, when was the last time i felt excitement, i cant remember it, sigh. . . i need some adrenalin boost to increase endorphin in my life. jeez even exam results have stoped giving me the adrenalin. Ah well, life's a bitch anyway.

We just keep walking the same pace, just hoping that one day we will bump into someone that would brighten up your day. . . *we here still only is applicable to singles and those who has just broke up or sumtin like that* =.= im whining i knoe . . .

Anyway, so tell me, when was the last time you felt excitement? I would really be intrested in that. I had an experience where i was nearly bang by a car and it wasn't exciting or scary at all, more of the ....oh... moments. So really do tell me, be it the moment you get WooosH of your feet by your gf/bf/person u admire or some exciting event that you have encountered.

Grant me wings for i wish to soar,
Grant me hope for i wish to live,
Grant me love for i wish to feel alive.

CHANGE !!!

2007-02-09T15:55:00.000+08:00

Well, My fridge was cleaned yesterday and you wouldn't believe what we found in it ! theres a LIZARD THERE !!!! i wonder how longs its been there, not to mention an entire ecosystem of fungal colony on the trays of the fridge, i though their suppose to be transparent? its found instead to be green and orangey. . . ewwww THANK GOD I NVR KEEP MY FOOD IN THERE, only bottled water (proud) wanna know how it looked like? here they are :

And this was how the fridge looks like after we finish cleaning it, we as in the three Msians who lives in the cluster, the rest seems to be not in , bz or just plain lazy, ITS UR FREAKING FRIDGE TOO U KNOW !!!GAH !!!

So anyway, since my IBM (Internaly Busted Mouse according to Syen) mouse seems to be acting up, it keeps dying halfway through, went to the NUS Museum Bazaar to get a new mouse, Got the Razer Diamondback in the end, though the Microsoft Lazer 6000 is cheaper due to its discount, well its discounted for a reason, besides its lazer capability of 2000 DPI, the design is crappy and according to what i read on the net, so are it's function. Phew. So here it is my new Razer Diamondback and another week ahead where i shall eat less due to limited cash pool. . .

As far as your wondering how much that costed me, lets just say that it left quite a big boo boo on my wallet. But i love it nonetheless. New mouse for my Lappy: Diena. Hohohohoh

New Skill?

2007-02-08T02:03:00.000+08:00

Haha Looky looky wat i learned in chinese class yesterday ^^, my very first Chinese calligraphy,

Okay, sure its not anything special but it is my first ^_^, i like it , maybe its just because its my own work, ppl tend to appreciate their own work more then others. Except in special case where a certain person that is related to u in a certain way takes his/her time to produce their work and hand it over to u . Hmm. . . I feel like saying sumtin wise but my brain seems to be blank, there for i shall say:

Yen Says: Do the right thing! Be a man ! ( haha i knoe its a ripoff )
but still, lucky guys out there, u know who u are ^^ Do the right thing during Valentines Day !
Which is to donate to Yen's Charity Fund for Yen who is broke T_T

Yea im broke, though the caligraphy says Spring! at least i think thatz wat it says, my wallet is as dry as Sahara though. Gah!!!
Meh, i wonder is there any possible and reliable way to earn money online where doesnt involve me selling stuff =.=
Ah well, im begining to get a control over my studies again. THANK GOD, i actually thought i was about to die this sem. Begining to enjoy learning new stuffs again. Makes u feel Smart and Brilliant when u finnaly understand it. MUHOHOHOHOHOHO

Oh, and i want to openly declare that im FAT !
FAT FAT FAT FAT !! i would write the chinese word for FAT here if i know how. Maybe i shall try with paint, here goes :

Haha, brialliant isn't it. Im like 4kg heavier since last sem already and i hate to admit it but my jeans are feeling tighter d. Gotta start excercising more often to loose the stupid dumb pounds, i mean i have the gym and all but no motivation. Maybe the fact that if i grow any fatter, i wont be able to fit into any of my pants ( their all size 28/29 ) and thus having no pants to wear. Yea, thatz gonna motivate me, and oh yea, no more junk food, this can be helped by the fact that im broke !!! bah MUST LOOSE THE POUNDS !!! wana get my lean body back. And YES i WAS lean. I was like 55kg b4 i started working, and thatz when the pound started adding up and i wasn't able to get back eversince! Don't do office work if ur hoping to keep lean without constant exercise ! ! ! blah. I shall attack the pounds starting from tonite !!! Btw, anyone got arm weights which you tie around ur arms while you jog? i think i wana use it while i play WoW or DotA. at least im working out while playing, hehe

Contemplate

2007-02-06T19:25:00.000+08:00

When was the last time that you have cared for an animal? I dont know bout you but its been more then a month for me, sigh, i really wish i have animal companionship now, unlike humans, animals are much nicer in a way, sure u cant talk with them, but they will always be there for you as long as you'll be there for them, not all humans can do so . And they seem to have some comforting aura around them, especially the babies, their so adorable. Bahhhh, i miss my dogs at home badly now T_T wish i can hug them. Here's some pictures of baby animals, i duno, looking at them helps me relax.(not too relax i hope, later forget bout my assignments that are due .)

Ah well, for those who has animal companions now, do cherish them, sum of us are stucked in a concrete area with no wild life watsoever save for the ants that do the cleaning in my room. THeir really nice ^^

Just To release stress

2007-02-05T21:27:00.000+08:00

ARGHH !!! ORANGES BANANA TOmoDACHI KANEKA BOOO MAMA CHIKEN DANCING PLASMA ! DOLPHIN PEACOCK SWIMMING HEN LOST HEAD !!!! FUU FUU FAA FAA HAAAAAAAA !!! KAAAA MEEE HAAA MEEE HAAA !!!!!! TURTLE BALL KUNGFU FIGHTING !!!!
*performs ritual to chase away assignmens*
olee olee oooo oooo oleee oleee ooo oooo chika chika boo chika too siam siam mama siam ma jut jut kut kut put put plek siak siak MAR !!! olee oleee BOO ! Boo Boo OLEEE go go ching ka ching ka ching chian kat !

Present At Last !

2007-02-03T21:40:00.000+08:00

The current situation :
Numbers represent workload

Amount of reading to do: Scientific papers: 2-3
Lecture: 2
Management:3
Amount of work to do : 1 -CA due by Wednesday
1 -tutorial due by Wednesday
2 -presentation due by Monday
1 -lab report due by Friday
Misc : Room in a mess

lets say one workload = 2-3 hour to complete. . .
total workload = 11-12
taking it as 2.5 hours
time required = 30 hours. . . .

.........................................
.........................................

im in trouble now T_T if i cant resist playing WoW and watching anime... but their soo nice ! how can possibly ignore them >.< i lost the ability to study well, then again, did i have it from the start? Geeez, seriously, i doubt i belong in NUS where its the centre of bookworms and muggers.
i should belong in some... ermm .. arrrr. . . i do not know where i belong T_T
me ish losht, sniff sniff

Almost the present

2007-02-02T23:51:00.000+08:00

This is going to be the last post bout the past, the UCC event day. Well, besides the STUPID IRC COMMITEE WHO DESERVE TO BE TURNED INTO DONKEYS FOR A YEAR, it was fun and great ! Im dressed up in a chinese traditional costume, though i reminded myself of more like a trishaw puller or sumtin, SWT ! Took alot of pics that day, its like the fiesta of mass culture or sumtin, i would post the pic here but im just lazy , ahahha was suppose to be studying instead of blogging , sorry john, aparently there are other alternatives if i dont wow where i can not study T_T. This is horrible, i THINK im back in the lectures, way behind more like it, yet i still cant find my urge to study, wats happening to me !!! then again i was always lazy from the start >_> i really should change, the EE peeps are all piaing their stuff everyday, and i can go on without studying for a week ! gaahhh guys any suggestion ? maybe u have sum vodoo stuff or sumtin that can psych me up to study ahaha, DEATHNOTE 16 out i go watch first. . . Study delay yet again >_>

Warped time forwraded portal !!!

2007-02-01T01:22:00.000+08:00

Okay lets see... like the title says im gonna fast forward a little, nothing much since class started, besides the choir practice, which was tiring mind u . Then... oh yea, THAT SATURDAY WHICH I WAS FORCED TO WAIT FOR 4 HOURS POINTLESSLY !! YOU STUPID IRC IDIOTS WHO I SUSPECT WAS RAISED BY DONKEYS, wait i take tat back, even donkeys are better then them !
ARGH !!! I WAS SO PISSED DAT DAY I PRACTICALLY SNAP BACK AT ALMOST ANYONE. Sorry Pooi San ya gotta be a victim too. BUT STILL !! ARGH !!! DAMMIT Havent been so pissed for so long d. Jeez. *cools down* okay then wats next... ahh i want to donate blood on the next tuesday after that #@$@#$#@ happened. but i got the date wrong, was suppose to be next week. Ahaheheh felt kinda dumb. After that, went out with John to Sim Lim, His first time there XD. Sorry james din call ya T_T we din knoe, honest. we walk around .. and round .. and round, look here and there, touch this and that XD well the thing is WoW and BC, he was really tempted to buy, i was kinda poisoning his mind too but gave up in d end XD we went back and ... was there choir after that? cant remember. then he gave me a luff when he decided to buy it the next day. LOLZ, my poisoning worked after all ? delayed effect maybe. hmm after tat wat happened. . . oh yea the costume rehearsal tat nite. i had a SPS lecture at the same time which i forgot about ( shit ) oh well, at least i had a good excuse due to the rehearsal. haha.
in the next post ill tok about the UCC event day. kinda lazy and wana go watch anime then sleep d. hehe XD
[OUT]

4th %$#^ Warped Portal

2007-01-31T23:59:00.000+08:00

Im back in sg, woo wooo wooo, oh well, i came with high spirit and all after i drop from the bus. And when i went to check in my room, guess wat, THEY GAVE ME MY OLD TYPE C ROOM !!! CURSES !!! i was like so damm pissed and angry at them after grabing the keys went to dump my luggage into my "room" and went to R2 lounge to play my ps2. ARGH !!!, had to type letters to the OSA to tell them my problem and it was only around the evening. So after getting my room keys, i went to my room and, ahhh room sweet room. then *click*........ *click* *click**click*. . . . *click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click*
*click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click*
*click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click*
*click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click*
MY FAN IS NOT SPINNING !!! WAT THE HELL !!! ARGH !!! DAMM YOU PGPR !!!!
after cursing, told John my prob and he was really kind enuff to let me bunk at his place ^^, Thnx john ^^ your the best. Oh well air con room so i shouldnt complain. Though im in a sleeping bag XD, comfy enuff. i think i stayed there for 7 or 8 days cant remember. Then they finally fixed my room, they also fixed Chau's fan XD and the new fan is damm fast so its damm cooling. Just glad to have my own room back. And then the torment of classes begins T_T

Time Warped Portal *$#5

2007-01-30T15:23:00.000+08:00

This is for New Year and beside saying HAPPY NEW YEAR !
i had another phrase to say, KAI LIN GIMME BACK MY SPRAYING FULL NEW YEAR !!! RWAR !!!!! there was ferdy oso btw, watched movie, but sumone PPK use == *hint hint*
May my 2007 Be better then 2006, but i know that its gonna be worst == cuz im aledi in 2007 and it started badly. RAWR !!!

Time Portal?! 2

2007-01-30T15:11:00.002+08:00

This is where i blog about the trip to KL XD
was a great trip, went there and meet up with the rest, and finally get to meet John Chan and Syen again, Weeeeeeeeeeeee had and amazing first day( details in my mind, talk to me if ya wanna know) and bunked at John's place, John's place main attraction was, well besides John XD, NEGIMA !!! wooooooo i had to resist not reading all of them, though i was like halfway through the collection, so can get some sleep for the next day. The second day was mostly spent on ice skating. and met up with Y2 today. Syen and John din wana ice skate though, and we ( Xander me and Carly) gotta teach Ryan Lin and Alpha how to skate. I din knoe teaching could be such fun experience. Though i myself crash into 2 Female, One was a chick, NOT ON PURPOSE ! and the other was a little girl that appeared out of no where( in other words i was dreaming) and i fell on the ice while stoping her from dropping. I think i fell 3 times that day. Ryan learns fast though XD guess he dares to try alot. Lin and Alpha more cautious, Alpha nver fell the entire day, i think, No Fair >_>, But i think i recall Ryan falling superman style, or was it just me dreaming ? We also did went around shopping mall.... actually lemme rephrase that, we went to Shopping malls the entire trip. as far as i remember, there was coffee bean too, or was it starbucks? ah well, bunked at James the second day and the third day was just to slack till we go back XD.
|END|
(Sorry no pics)

Time Portal? 1

2007-01-30T15:11:00.001+08:00

THE GANG COMES TO PENANG!!!, well at least maybe most of the gang.
Went with Lin to pick them up from the bus station at Pesta, I went in Lin’s car and meet up with ChuYin ( has this nick came up by then? ) and Charming at McD (I think). Anyway Vrooom we go to pick them up, and there was Xander, Chau, Ryan (at this point his still free from the lameness disease) and Jean (correct spelling?) ,Alpha and Alichun ? (ChuYin how to spell Alichen’s name?) I think that’s all. Correct? should be, if got sumone missing then im dead. @@ . Anyway, first day went to laksa( and im sure u would know who wont be eating laksa =_=.) but I din had cuz was kinda full. Come to think of it, the reason I was full was becuz of Kai Lin’s evil plot of taking me to lunch before picking them up . RAWRRR!!!! . Then … wat happened? I remember we go to Penang Hill after that, but in between.. |BLANK| So penang hill, same o same o, was kinda funny to see them taking pictures of penang while the mist was clear, seems like whenever they want to take, the mist would appear again XD, took some nice picks around there XD . But Mr Lazyness don’t feel like posting them… yet. Oh just in case your wondering, guys and girls stayed diff ( besides CM XD, his excluded ) Houses XD for the first two days. The last day we all bunked at ChuYin’s Bro’s place. Continuing, we had dinner at that hawker stall near BJ one, ITS NOT MY FAULT IM BAD AT MEMORISING NAMES!!!. The its another |BLANK| what did we do after dinner @@. The next day… In truth its still kinda blurry, Im gonna let MR LAZYNESS take it from here. Taking to much energy to recall and retype. In total there was 3 days in PENANG ! LOLZ
|END|

(hate me I knoe ^_^)

Sorry For The Unupdatedness

2007-01-30T14:46:00.000+08:00

HILO !!!!
I'm sure many blog readers got herm, iritated at my site for not being updated for so long XD
i mean , it hasnt been updated since when.. since i got back to penang, that around 2 months already O_O
Can't blame me, well maybe u can blame my Lazyness, BUTS ITS NOT ME !!! ITS HIS FAULT!!
to make up for this, i will try post according to what i would have posted if i updated the blog frequently XD
So Sit back, Relax, and wait a little longer XD

Home

2006-12-10T23:24:00.000+08:00

I am Hooooooommmeeeeeeeeeee
Soree bout the late blog update, i was too lazy to blog after exams, wanted to enjoy the time to the max u knoe XD. home i am then from SG to PG on bus. Came home together with Kai Lin. Stupid bus dunno why took such a long time to reach back. 9 !!! 9 !!! thatz two hours late. sigh. anyway home d. need to enjoy. though my hope of going down to kl for christmas vanished when i reached home and asked. apparently i got some important events on 23 and 24. sigh soree Kai Lin, mite not be able to follow u down to KL d. anyway, ITS PENANG !!! i cant wait to go queensbay to shop !! though my aunt wanted to bring me there but i was just too damm lazy and tired and wanted my bed.
today after i reach back, i EAT !!! YESH !!! then i EAT sumore then i sleep then EAT ! then meditate then eat.... crap, if this goes on i definately gonna end up fat. tatz all for now, mc d getting cold >.< ahahahah

Drift

2006-11-12T02:38:00.000+08:00

Drift, drift, drift....
not the Tokyo Drift kinda drift though, the drift in relations. Just finish stats(i hope) so wana crap here awhile before i oinks. Drift, sumhow i just feel im drifting away from ppl around me. it just feels different now. everything is different. maybe im changing, maybe its just me. i duno. but all i knoe is i dun like the feeling. feeling lonely yet again. i guess it happens, seems its so near exam and all. but, why doesnt it feel the same anymore, how can a few days change so much. did i did something wrong? i mistake i never realise. i just want things as before. where i felt like i belong. maybe that was just my illusion that i feel like i belong, longing to have a place to belong cause my mind to create an illusion i did. then again my mind wasnt alright from the start. i guess im thinking too much. happens, happens before itll happen again .

still, i wish it is real, a place to belong,

Burden

2006-11-07T00:08:00.000+08:00

Fluffy logic posts gotta hold for awhile, ohwell those post are about wat's going on deep in my mind anyway and i doubt anyone reads this blog so ill just put in on hold for awhile

Test are looming near and im still not ready yet, there is still a report, presentation and CA test to do. Sighh and i just finish a report and a term paper only, dead tired. and as usual, socialmeter is still low. i guess everyone is just too busy this days. well some have other problems that adds to their burden, be it relationship or sumtin else. everyone has their burdens to carry. it gets tired doesnt it? i still seek to find the place where even just for awhile, i can remove this burden and the masks that i wear, it gets heavy u knoe.
Another crappy thing is im addicted to Shaman King, at this time near exam, not good, totally not good. for sum reason i feel the world is quite empty this days, plain. where have all the colours gone. guess its been suck into the oblivion known as examination.
It feels as if things are drifting away, change is occuring again. i duno wether is for the best or worst, that only time could tell.
hey, what happend to that smile of urs, the one the lights up my day, won't you share ur problems with me and lets step forward together

Gift

2006-10-28T14:43:00.000+08:00

I shall unfluffyfy this post to show my appreciation.

since im so mutated and moved to knoe how to write this post, i shall take my time till i got the rhythm to do so. I still cant find the words to put my feeling as. perhaps i shall create a new word? ah well. ill edit this soon enuff. In the mean time.

Thanks John

Edited Section, ehehe soree late.
Well i really wanna show my gratitude to John Chan for Hitsugaya, really loved it, sum of ya might have seen the pic of it in my msn, if u didnt, just look out for it ^^ it might pop up again since i like it soo much XD

The late edit was due to being swarmed with reports and term paper, seriously, why does NUS have so much workload to do near examination time. Lack of sleep this days and socialometer is low. Oh well, thatz wat u get when most of the time u spend is to type type type. Ahhh to push Diena's buttons..... her memory getting full though, poor girl, i promise ill find time to lighten ur burden.

Sin

2006-10-26T08:38:00.000+08:00

The world is filled with sin, sin from actions and thoughts, sin from feelings. I never thought that it having feelings would be a sin. an uncontrolled feeling will be a sin. For an uncontrolled feeling could cause pain to self and people around. then again, it isnt easy to control your own feeling. this i knoe. When its wrong to be happy, when its wrong to be sad, when its wrong to love or hate. Sin then i have, and yet i cannot help it. Im too weak, too weak to control my feelings. Much pain i have caused. But yet, is it my fault? im only human, the life ive went through moulded me this way. Then it wouldnt be my fault alone wouldnt it? yet i shouldnt blame others, for im myself. The masks gets too heavy sometimes, it gets tiring. i want a place, a place where i could remove this masks away, a place where im me. my paradise

Resolution

2006-10-25T16:40:00.000+08:00

The past night shows signs of frost shattering, shouldnt have think so much. But then again, it has made me resolve, decided i have what to do. Maybe sealing it is a wrong move, as the past two mistakes have shown. Perhaps it would be different. Perhaps unsealing it would make it thaw. Though it will change, change the life which im floating in now. Perhaps i shall embrace this change, as the current life is painful to me as it is. perhaps it would be better. for i do not wish to have the same ending as the previous mistakes. Though time is not right. maybe im just saying an excuse for dragging it longer. There are other more importants papers to go over, perhaps after this paper. I hope this will not be a resolve that i shall regret.

A broken slumber

2006-10-24T13:55:00.000+08:00

I wake in the dawn to showers of light,
Moments of emptiness surrounds,
Floating away...with auras of hope,
But reality bring me to the ground !
(taken form Indecisive-Empty Decorations)

Thus, the short phrase depicts what i feel when the slumber's broken. Went through Diena after that and accidentally click on a wrong file. one that contained my memories of the past year, one that was made by J-ann, I cant thank her enough really, one of the best gift i received. as i read through each slides, memories kept flowing back, i miss those times, i really do, how cruel of life to remove the times from me. The memories fed the Void for now. yet the frost's destruction might be inevitable. the unfolding of time is similar to the First,and some part of the Second. Maybe it wont be as bad as the first, the body tends to get use to it . . . i hope. Another change is occuring, its inevitable. as it happens, so i might be affected too. Though i fear cuz i do not know in what way i shall change. an empty husk? a berserked creature? i wont knoe... What shall time bring to me this time, wont it let me have a slumber, a slumber of a puppy . . .

Frost of Void

2006-10-23T13:25:00.000+08:00

The frost within is a ticking bomb, unstable in its current condition, dangerous in its current condition. Begging the skies above, seal the frost away. seal it far away. hide it from the eyes, for they do not see what it is, for they could not comprehend. the chains they set still binds me. i foresee the frost shall shatter one day, as it has before. so seal it away, at least far enough where the shards wont reach others. Though the frost is born from the chain that binds, though those eyes that bind could not comprehend, shield the shards from them. for its not their fault. , eyes that judge. eyes who arent bound by this chains. I seek for the acceptance of this eyes, yet the chains they set prevents me from doing so. thus the frost shall be borned. It will be so till a touch that can thaw it comes by. . .

angel of frost, angel of fire,
seal the frost & qwell my desire,
seal it away from the eyes of man,
let it be forgotten beneath the shifting sands.

The creature within

2006-10-22T21:54:00.000+08:00

The void stirs again, and the chaos of the abyss is released again. the monster awakens, supress it i tried, fed it with false hope and ignorance. But now as reality revealed itself, i might not be able to hold it any longer. but to release it might cause it to destroy the one i seek to protect. To seek for help i should, but i cant, not with the chains of the world binding my body. I want to break the chains, i want to be loose, but yet i fear that this chains are the ones that are holding my life together. then breaking the chains might also shatter the life that i have known. . . Though the chain sometimes does feel comfortable... but the solitude gets too much to bear. So i wish, wishing that an angel would lift me from this binds of mine and let me soar. . . though thats wishing for too much, but at least it gives me hope, just enough to take another step through this life of mine.

Again, i found a light, i like it, though i know its not mine and might nvr be mine, but i still hope its mine. The small glimmer of hope, i hang onto it. Though again and again as reality shatters it and the shards hurting me, i just feel that though it's not mine, being close to it is enough. but i know that is just a lie. a lie i place just to bask in the light that comes from the valueless. I knoe this cause the monster inside seek to lash out and grab it for myself, though doing so might destroy the light ... therefore i let time, yes time, she who changes everything to do her bidding. Should i decide ? decide on chasing the light, or see where it wanders. I fear, fear what would happen when realities hammer completely shatters the hope that i hang on to. Would the rays from the light still be as comforting as it is? or would it pierce and hurt me more. . .

Yet, will i then still like the light, would i still seek to protect it, or would that cause me seek to destroy it. I guess i should swear now... this moment. With time as my witness, I shall protect the light, and if the monster does lash out, i shall hide in the shadows, hiding it away from the light. . . this is for although the light might be painful to me, its still warm to others, thus it must be protected. though this mite just be myself trying to keep the light to me as close as possible, but at this moment, i just want to protect the light. . . though it might be my third mistake. . . but then again, i never do learn from my mistake.

As the frozen one shatters,
Orbs shall rain,
The abyss then rages,
reacting back to the pain.

One that has shttered can freeze again,
For there is rain there is water,
there would be regeneration for the pain
then another step is taken into the future....

Then Non-Fluffy Logic Post

2006-10-22T21:46:00.000+08:00

Well then, this shall be the start of where i state my whines and joys and ect like every other bloggers do. But i guess the difference would be that since i dont like to express myself alot, ill then express myself through my Fluffy Logic. Gonna take awhile to understand it if anyone bothers. There would be other Non-Fluffy Logic posts besides this but post such as this will normally be explanations and nothing about myself. Well, basic way to read my blog is dont think bout reality so much and well, get to know be better i guess. The more you know me the easier to read. That is if you even want to read . . .